(To crank it to?)
The very first hint for Nintendo’s new cell phone game,Super Mario Run, is that you can play one-handed. It’s been a major part of the marketing, too. Here’s Shigeru Miyamoto playingSuper Mario Runwhile eating a large cake, from last week.
And while the slogan is surely meant to communicate the ease of use and appeal to average mobile game players, folks of the online are liable to do more than eat cake whileSuper Mario Run-ing, unless by “eat cake” you mean “crank your genitals,” which I do, always. As Marie Antoinette famously did not say: “Let them pull pud.”
Can’t wait to jerk off with one hand and play Super Mario Run in the other!!!!!pic.twitter.com/J6Kmo2sm1X
— cornty 💉 (@corutny703)July 31, 2025
Anyways, Nintendo of America wants you to know that once you, uh, finish withSuper Mario Run, you may go download — two-handedly — other, olderMariogames, which are currently being sold at a discount.
After playing Super Mario Run, use BOTH hands to download some classic Mario games at a discounted price! Details:https://t.co/q9cvCYgYhhpic.twitter.com/V6amxmJVJJ
— Nintendo of America (@NintendoAmerica)July 04, 2025
