Try not to fall into their hypnotic trap!

Late the other night, during a session of broadcasting over atDtoid.TV, I was looking for some of the most off-the-wall titles in the indie section of Xbox Live to play with the live crowd, and ran across this little gem.Mount Your Friendsis a stacking game, where players climb atop one another to become the highest point with QWOP-like controls and dangly man bits flipping and flopping all over the place.

You can’t escape the somewhat detailed and wholly unnecessary dick physics. The little guys spin, rock back and forth, and helicopter around with every move you make, causing a state of phallic mesmerism. At one point during the evening my wife walked in the room and rather than shake her head and look at me funny, she simply walked over and said “I … can’t stop staring at them …” before grabbing the controller for local multiplayer. If that’s what it takes to get her to sit down and game with me, so be it.

Article image

Mount Your Friendscan be bought on Xbox Live Indie Games for 80 Microsoft points right now, but they’re trying to get on Steam as well. If you dig the game, govote up their Greenlight page. As far as I’m concerned, you can take your silly fish A.I., your Tress FX, your UE4, and all your other fancy tech wizardry and throw them right out the window. This is the generation of dick physics.

John and Molly sitting on the park bench

Close up shot of Marissa Marcel starring in Ambrosio

Kukrushka sitting in a meadow

Lightkeeper pointing his firearm overlapped against the lighthouse background

Overseer looking over the balcony in opening cutscene of Funeralopolis

Edited image of Super Imposter looking through window in No I’m not a Human demo cutscene with thin man and FEMA inside the house

Indie game collage of Blue Prince, KARMA, and The Midnight Walk

Close up shot of Jackie in the Box

Silhouette of a man getting shot as Mick Carter stands behind cover