Just a drop or two, but still!

I’ve always thought Jennifer Lawrence (Passengers,The Hunger Games) and Javier Bardem (Skyfall,No Country for Old Men) would make a great couple. Like, they have so much in common, and obviously there’d just be so much charisma there, wow. So, I’m happy to see that directorDarren Aronofsky thought the same thing and put them in a movie together as a happily married couple living out a tranquil life in a big house in the country.

Only, I’m not happy. Because I can’t even tell if they’re supposed to be married based off this trailer. In fact, what with the creepy fonts and violin music, I’m more scared than anything else. What sort of romantic comedy is this? Was that blood?

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I’ve just peed myself a bit. Oh just fine and dandy, Mr. Aronofsky. You make a movie with a couple of love birds and then spray blood all over it. I’m not sure what sort of filmmaker you are, but clearly you’re confused. What’s that? indecipherable, speaking to intern He directedBlack SwanandRequiem for a Dream? Oh no. No, no, no.Don’t do this to J-Bar-Law! Their romantic couple name is too cute! (and sounds like a  great law firm to call … 1-888-J-BAR-LAW, right!)

Have a sip of this brandy to calm my nerves. And, yes. Just another sip. That’s better. Well, at least it looks like there’s a rave of some kind; it can’t be all that bad.

OW2 Wuyang staff slam

mother![lower-case ‘M’ intended] bows September 15. Will you rush to the theaters to pee your pants? What other unlikely pairings would you like to see Jennifer Lawrence in onscreen? Let us know in the comments.

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